Tuesday, September 7, 2010

An Unnatural Obsession with Kitchen Appliances

I excitedly made my way to Target with my $25 gift card in hand to buy a food processor. I had wanted one for a while, but hadn't really been able to justify buying one. I am also mostly broke. So, having received a gift card, I thought now was the time.

I walked the entire length and breadth of the store before realizing that the food processors were by the entrance where I had come in. This should have been my first indication of what kind of experience this would turn out to be.

I looked at all the models on display, and finally, after much thought (and little research which is unlike me), I selected the Ninja Master Prep. It reeked somewhat of infomercial (Magic Bullet anyone) and it wasn't a brand I recognized, but it looked promising and was on sale for $39.99. It had double blades, a pitcher and small container, and a top-loading motor. I made my way to the register.

It rang up for $45.99.

I stopped the cashier and explained to her the sticker said $39.99. She looked flummoxed for a bit, and I was holding up the line which I hate to do. Thank goodness a manager walked by. She said "just change it." I though, well gee, I could have said it was $10.00. But I didn't.

When I got home, I set it up and threw some cauliflower in to shred. WOW. It was amazing! The thing shredded beautifully, and I could pulse and control how small I wanted the pieces to be. When I threw some frozen fruit and ice into the smaller fixture, it pureed it to a perfect sorbet consistency within seconds. I was blown away. My old blender which couldn't even crush ice was demoted to the cupboard.

I immediately went to the interwebs to check reviews, which I usually do BEFORE I buy pretty much anything. The good reviews looked promising. I was a little nervous because there were a number of bad reviews which all said the same thing, and when the reviews match each other, it's usually a good bet that they are right. If the bad reviews are just a grab bag of different gripes, that indicates personal preferences not met. But in this case, most dissatisfied reviewers mentioned the gears stripping.

I went to sleep happy last night having shredded cabbage, cauliflower, and made sorbet.

Today, the gears stripped.

I was so upset. This machine could have been so great.

So...on my way to my first class of the semester, I stopped at Target, returned the Ninja, and because I got store credit, bought a blender that promised ice crushing ability. This Oster blender was also $39.99 and came in silver, black and red. I chose silver. While picking up the box, I noticed that the black blender box was bigger. I examined the boxes but found no difference in description, so off I went.

During the 2 hours I sat in class, ALL I could think about was whether the blender would work, and how upset I was that I didn't have a food processor for my cauliflower.

When I got home, I rushed to throw some ice in the thing and fire it up. It crushed my ice! When I threw in some frozen fruit - nothing. Just a regular, crappy, weak-ass blender. All the fruit sat on top while the blades spun.


WHAT is going ON here? In what world did Oster think this gimmick up? It was the same on Amazon, Walmart and all other stores I checked. Randomly, the black model comes with the little processor thrown in.

So guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I will be on Target's doorstep at 8am to exchange the silver for the black.

This whole fracas has robbed sleep from me. Kitchen appliances and food preparation can consume my being so completely. Maybe it's because not having the necessary tools make me afraid I will have nothing to eat, which is irrational. But If I have nothing to eat I am one unhappy person.


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