Friday, January 27, 2012

Another Adventure in Appliances - Humidifiers and why they suck.

Vicks Humidifier, Model # POS

I need a humidifier to sleep. Like I told the Walmart cashier when she asked me if I was sick (I was buying a humidifier) - "No, I'm a singer."


Someone call Mariah Carey, we have a diva on our hands.

The cashier then asked me to sing something, whereupon I replied with that classic comeback when someone is speaking directly to you: "Me?"

Yeah, they're not looking at anyone else, genius.

I didn't sing.


The first humidifier I bought was a Vicks one, don't even ask me for the model number because I really can't be bothered to go look it up right now, that's how sick of them I am. It stopped working after about a year. Just stopped. I noticed it was after a regular vinegar wash (you gotta do that for warm mist humidifiers to dissolve the minerals that collect around the heating unit).

[ugh I'm so tired. why am i writing right now? oh yeah coz i'm pissed]

So I bought a new one, same model, because I was pleased with the performance of the first and I figured hey why not give it another shot.

It broke - in the exact same way - in 3 months.

After very, very extensive research I concluded that humidifiers in my price range (:poor) are summarily sucky and all break after a few months no matter what. So after agonizing over my choices, I resign to the fact that the model I'd picked the last two times is really the best of the sorry bunch and I just have to make do with replacing it every so often.

I go to Target (yes, I return to the scene of the crime) and using my boyfriend's employee discount plus a $5 gift card I buy the same model again.

That was yesterday.

Today, I found my humidifier in a pool of water.

It. Leaked. Right. Through. The mechanical. Portion.

I could have died.

Amid repeated recitation of the word "Un-F***ing-Blievable. Un-F***ing-Believable," I pack the thing back up in it's box.

I drive to Target, open my purse and find that I left my wallet at home. Thank goddess I had paid for it in cash and had the receipt in my purse. Pissed that I couldn't buy a better (:more expensive) model because my credit cards are at home, I get my money and leave.

If you are noting a tone of restraint in my voice right now, it's because I am trying very hard not to stab my roommate who is responsible for taking my wallet out of my bag and not replacing it.

And now what do I do? Resign to sore throats all winter long? I mean even the $200 models have reviews that say they suck, and I know now to take those reviews seriously.

Why are we run by corporations? Such shoddy, shoddy corporations?

Don't answer that.

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